I don’t know about you, but i’m a deep thinker. I can be minding my own buisness one minute then a little thought creeps in ever so silentley and whispers “Sophie, what do you think your purpose is, is their meaning for your life? ” and just like that i am staring into the abyss of the darker, least used side of my brain going deeper and deeper into thought, from the outside i think i look like this:
But realistically, it is probabley something more like this:
I find it very rare nowadays to find someone who has similar thoughts, living in the society i do surrounded by materalisim, people like to go as deep as the first layer of their dermis, these issues are no longer thought or cared about, but damn they know how to dress an empty box, to look good on the outside is all that matters in this day an age, God help our children.
But for some people, these kind of thoughts are merely just thoughts and dare i say it, even kind of boring- they don’t egnite the soul, they don’t lead you into a spiral of epithany and wonder,you simply do not care. My husband for example, we could not be more chalk and cheese in some respects…soul searching for him is more “what makes me feel really nostalgic” so he will then go to a gamer store, buy some old games and play on them, this is his happy place. But ask him, “why do you think we are here?” And i see his eyes glaze over in bordom and his mind reverts back to his happy place-playing mario cart for nintendo 64 as he respondes “Dunno, to die” urghhhhhh the soul crushing realism of how different our thought process is!
Maybe this is something to do with my anxiety, the living in the future rather than the present, the different wiring of my brian and triggers that make me think. Maybe growing up surrounded by green english pastures and beautiful nature has set of these life narratives- there is more to life than we think, there has got to be! Maybe in those moments of emotion when the world is out of our control and i realise i am an ant so small and helpless and nothing i do really can control my fate- maybe we are in a game like The Sims, and someone is pointing and clicking options for us to take (if this is so, please hand of fate- please don’t put me in a swimming pool then take away the ladder to get out) sim geeks will understand that last bit. Maybe its that small leap of faith i have taken from being an athiest to believeing in a greater being…maybe just maybe….
I guess these are questions that make some brains tick and others clock off.
A quote for a believer;
A quote for the non-believer;